What a time these past weeks have been. We have walked through the valley, and now are able to feel the sun once again, but what a difficult walk it has been.
We learned in May that my brother had passed away suddenly with no warning. It was such a painful shock and loss. He was such an amazing brother and will be so deeply missed... there aren't really words to describe how I feel. He was strong and brave, and loved and lived passionately with a fierceness. He was always there for me - always . To protect me, and be a strong big brother - he filled that role well.
So, on the last day of school for the kids we headed out of town for a soccer tournament and then traveled on to help clean out my brother's apartment and take care of his affairs. We were gone for about a week and a half, and returned home the night before his funeral to find that our house had flooded. There wasn't deep water anywhere thank goodness, so on we went through the funeral the next day. His loss was becoming so big to me then, and so very real. The day after the funeral the cleaning and restoration crew came and took up our kitchen floor and a little of the carpet pad for the adjoining room. Then they filled the room with fans and two dehumidifiers, wrapped it in plastic walls and left, suggesting we might want to make other arrangements for dinner that night. Um, excuse me?!? It's Thursday and you're coming back on Monday?! What about breakfast and lunch and life for the next several days??? Our house actually stayed like that for just over a week, and actually things got worse.
We were unable to see my family visiting from out of town for the funeral because we were dealing with the flood. The thermostat for our house was inside the plastic tent, so regulating our heat was almost impossible. The next day my bathtub faucet blew off . It thoroughly soaked the room, and me, but luckily no-one was hurt - my son had his head under it when it broke, and the faucet is very heavy, so that was truly a blessing. After that we spent the afternoon cleaning up and getting ready all over again, and then went out to a late lunch. The next day our air conditioner froze up from working so hard to combat the temperatures in the plastic room, so our home was now too hot to stay in (combined with too noisy, and no kitchen) so we went to the park to walk ad ride bikes for the evening and then out for ice cream.
I tried to fill our days with fun activities and trips to the park since we couldn't eat at home, and honestly it was just hard to be there at all. I think for the most part I succeeded at keeping it fun for our kids, but it really took a toll on me, as it all unfolded , and as the reality of our loss set in. Life is that way for me - things sink in the deepest after they are over, so my hardest day in terms of losing my brother was also the day the tore up our house. We were so ready to just be home together. to eat a home cooked meal and hang out around the table, and had spent the night before talking about all the different foods and meals the kids wanted me to make.
But...
God is so good, and we are feeling the sun on our faces once again. What a sweet feeling it is :) Summer is in full swing now with swimming and tree climbing and trips to the park. I have lots to share, and hope to post often now as we move forward with joy and thanksgiving for life and the blessing of each new day.
I have an amazing photo to share. On our way home from my brother's we stopped at the beach for a little healing of our hearts and time together before going on to the funeral. As soon as we got settled into our room, we headed out onto the beach for about an hour. When we got back to our hotel, we found my brother's name written in the sand, and not by our family. It is such a common name, but with such an unusual spelling, I can honestly say that nothing like this has ever happened to me, and I have rarely see his name spelled like this on anything that wasn't already his in my life. We took a couple of photos of it, and sat on the nearby log to remember him.
We love you Geof, and we will miss you so very, very much!
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